CT scan in the Morn

Life as a bachelor sucks, I am back to my normal grind and I don't like it at all but it is a short term sacrifice to the long term risk I have chosen to take (take a risk and grow old).

I have a CT in the morn. and it should be routine but it seems that CT's, petscans, x-rays are never routine. I always have to answer the question about smoking, I NEVER SMOKED please stop asking; (I am going to get some t-shirts made that point to my blog) I hope such an action will stop all questions, also I am wondering if I will have to stand my ground when the tech wants to use my arm rather than my chest port to pump me full of CT contrast.

Oh well another day down and I can't complain
"The boy with no shoes never knew how good he had it until he met the boy with no feet"

Bench Press

I lost the bench press contest at the YMCA I only got 80% of my body weight 16 times but next year I plan on destroying the competition click the link below to see my new workout

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYBe8ur4uJU

Oh yea I can give you a dozen or more legitimate excuses as to why I didn't win but excuses are paper thin and the end result would still be the same (a loss). The only thing this loss does is give me more energy to pick myself up and work harder.

quote about being sick

"If you have health, you have everything. The person who is ill wants only one thing--whole health and well-being." - by a respected member of the medical community

Post Valentine

Mom is here the Ladies are totally spoiled, and at least for this week cancer and medical issues along with other life issues are occupying my total attention. Valentines was great good food, conversation and most importantly being surrounded by ladies focusing all their attention on me (The Ladies Man) or at least the ladies man for one week; if I had chest hair (darn chemo) and this chemo port wasn't in my chest then I would have to walk around with a big collared shirt partially unbuttoned and breakout the my afro wig.

Enjoying the Visit (Tuesday)

Enjoying the girls right now, trying to spoil the ladies as much as possible. Took a nice trip up to San Fran on yesterday had a blast down at the Piers and stopped for lunch at the Rain Forest Cafe (yes Raegan is still afraid of most of the animals she has conquered her fear of the butterflies and birds since there animation is not as dramatic when compared to the others.) Unfortunately we cut the San Fran trip short due to rain so hopefully on the next trip we will do more around San Fran.

My health held up for the most part, however I do seem to get winded more easily and more frequently. I tend to tire out when I carry one or both of the girls around this never really hampered me down before as it does now.

Excited about my mom coming in on tomorrow to spend time with the my ladies and me. Her trip is blessing being provided by the Lemon Aide foundation at Stanford Universities Cancer Center. http://cancer.stanford.edu/features/patient_care_news/lemonaide.html

Hello Ladies

Hello Ladies. My wife and daughters will be here today for a week time flies I have much work to do to convert my cave back into an apartment. Of course I am waiting until the last minute to do everything it is 0330 PST they don't arrive until 1030 PST so I will start getting everything ready at 0630 maybe or 0631 ...... .... ....

I am ready to see them. I am sure Raegan and I will get in trouble for playing with toys and reading too many books well past her bedtime (also eating too much gum, and candy too). Ravyn will just be trying to figure out who I am as she really hasn't seen much of me in her 13 months. Any Rhonda will enjoy getting some rest and sleeping in.

Nap time.

I'm an Actor now y'all

Yesterday I marked my debut into the craft that calls many to California. I am an actor and, I might add a darn good one too (actually I am clueless). I have been involved with shooting a video yesterday and today for the National Lung Cancer Partnership. This video will be distributed to patients with lung cancer, and oncologist to give them a human perspective of what it is like to go through a clinical trial. My hope is that through telling my story and providing information about my clinical trial(s) I can help someone else that might be trying to stay afloat in the dark waters of cancer.

On a brighter note I won a bench press contest today. Check that I think I won; check that I hope I won. They (gym folks) tell me that just by competing I won, which may be true but that is not good enough. A moral victory doesn't come with a trophy, bragging rights, or sand to kick in the losers face. I want to win. The contest was for my home YMCA in Fort Worth, TX and you had to lift 80% of your body weight as many times as possible. I weighed in at 237.25 lbs so 80% of that is 189.792 so rounding up that means I needed to lift 190 lbs. My goal was to get between 15 - 20 reps and I would be happy since I am not my old self I got 15 (actually 15/16 I just couldn't lockout my right arm on the last rep). I was ok with 15 reps but I wish I could have done more. The contest or lifting wasn't bad though I thought I would be in bad shape afterwards (coughing alot fighting for air) but I was okay and after a minute I was ready to do more. The official contest isn't until February 15 so I might sneak back in and do the contest over again, Refuse to lose.

Fort Worth, TX YMCA Newsletter

http://ry.ymcafw.org/images/upload/RY%20-%20Feb%20%2007.pdf

Pre-game (Superbowl)

Ready for some football hopefully we will have a good game on tomorrow. I am really looking forward to all the grease (buffalo wings) that I am going to be able to consume and all the Root beer I can handle.

The Day after (one year)

One has come and gone without much pomp and circumstance. I spent most of yesterday 2/1/07 at the hospital getting bone density scans. The past few weeks my joints have really been bothering me (knees, ankles mostly). I was nervous hoping for the best but, expecting and prepared for the worst. In this case the worst would be that the cancer has metastasised to my bones.

Waiting....
Eating (Umm hospital cuisine Umm)
More Eating...
Waiting (Tic-Toc)...

Good news no bone metastasis I am just old and beat up. It appears that I have degenerative joint damage in both knees and my left shoulder. Looks like my new cologne will be ice hot or flex-all from time to time.

I think I will celebrate the good news, and my anniversary of beating the odds with 2 naps. There are so many statistics and myths that I am going to change and rewrite be for it is all said and done; the medical text book publishers should give me a contract.

Prelude to One

My anniversary date is upon us. What a year it has been. This year has been good, bad, and everything else in between. I think one good thing that I have learned this year is that marriage, living in a house full or ladies, the Lifetime movie marathons, the tea parties, and constantly having to redress and carry Barbie dolls and pursues has not made me soft. The time that I have spent on my own as a pseudo bachelor I have been able to quickly adapt again to those life skills that took me years build up before marriage, children, and civilization:

• Eating pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner, then breakfast once again
• Ice – Cream (milk shakes for breakfast)
• Watching sports all day on the weekends in between naps
• Working out late at night
• Wearing holey clothes around the apartment
• Scratching, belching, and using my freedom of speech when I drive

chemo day cometh once again

Chemo Day "Rat poison #7" is upon us once again.

The side effects of this poison are finally start to come to the surface (bad skin, joint pain, vomiting / nausea), Oh well so much for this chemo being easier than the other Rat poison cocktails I have had.

Note to cancer infusion rooms everywhere we need Patch Adams. The chemo infusion rooms are dark in spirit and down right sad the doctors, nurses, patients, and care givers should be able to have some fun. We aren't at a funeral so even while getting the juice we should be able to have some fun live a little.

Stand for Something

There seems to be some confusion about information about me, about my situation, and about the message(s) I would like to convey. About Me: I am human I am going to have good days and bad days, bear with me. I only hope that my good days far out number the bad ones. If sometimes I sound a little bitter or sour about the hand I have been dealt; I am probably having a bad day so lets hope it quickly passes. My Situation: I am not alone, I am unfortunately a member of a select fraternity that I was not allowed to turn down. I am not the only person in the country or world with my condition, if I were I think I might be more accepting because it would mean (in my eyes) that other patients weren't slipping through the medical cracks and hearing the unbearable news that they have advanced, late stage, terminal cancer.

My Message:
My goal is to get the transplant so that it can possibly have transplantation as an option when dealing with late stage BAC (Bronchioloalveolar Carcinoma). I would also like to at least get people (young and old) to at least discuss organ donation and know that even in the darkest moments when life has beaten you down you can still lift someone else up. Lastly many, many (did I say many) smokers are unhappy with me and to that I say get over it. The deal is most non-smokers aren't up in arms about you all smoking, people are going to do what they are going to do. Where many non-smokers take offence is when we can't access a building, store, restaurant, train, or even walk down the city street without inhaling your second hand smoke. Smokers cry about their rights but don't known smokers have rights too??

Where's the balance???

MLK Jr. tribute

This post is a day late and a dollar short but I would be remiss if I didn’t take a minute to pay my respects to the man, the mission, the courage, the strength, and the leadership that was embodied by Martin Luther King Jr. Regardless of your race, creed, color, or religious preference or how you may have felt about him or the many shoulders he stood upon to rise to his position he fought for all of us. Martin drew a line in the sand and had the conviction to stay on difficult the course he had chosen in an effort to correct an injustice that had no place in our society. Thank-you Martin, and thank-you to the many nameless men, women, and children that aided Martin in the struggle and have kept the fight alive.

Hall of Fame

What a sad two days it has been for me. I have come to the realization that there is a goal I will never be able to fulfill. It seems I have become a victim to some of the horrible medication that I have taken in the Bay Area. No longer can I preach from my soapbox and tell young athletes that I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. I have not knowingly been taking steroids for about a month now; not the cream format either that is so popular in the Bay Area.

Since I am taking a steroid or athletic enhancing drug I have to make peace with the fact that I will now never be able to play in the NFL, or play MLB. I will also not be able to go in the hall of fame for either of the two sports. To top it all off I will probably lose my security clearance and have to testify before Congress. I may hire TO’s publicist to do damage control after I testify before that most moral and ethically sound body we call Congress. I hope I don’t get a cell too close to Jack Bower.

I have also been practicing taking the Fifth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKUTS9l2HfY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmDKsAuHooo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0p0ZllZ7Xg

DFW Star-Telegram Article

Another article, pretty soon I am going to have to get a crew and a whole bunch of markers.

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/community/16416867.htm

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday little one I will be home soon.

Chemo Day (comes again)

Had an interesting ride into the hospital this morning. Some guy was on the road and was already having a bad day taking out his frustration on the other drivers on El Camino Real. This guy offered me a chance to get in an early morning workout as he decided to challenge other drivers on the road, I unfortunately gave him a pass and came on into the hospital but I am not so sure the other drivers on the road did not take him up on his challenges. There is a lesson that I am trying to pass along to the early morning drivers near cancer centers wherever you are located. It is in your best interest not to challenge cancer patients on their way to chemo, don't make any sudden movements toward us, and don't look us directly in the eye in a challenging manner b/c we are already tense, on edge, and ready to "Pop the Pop off". Unknown driver please know this I am 5 pounds short of bringing Sexy back my pre-cancer weight of 240 so in three weeks when I ride in for my next chemo I might not give you a pass Mr. 8 A.M. angry driver.

Disclaimer: I don't advocate violence but, you are not of a normal mindset on treatment days; your thoughts and actions are different so you can make it through.


Another day, another hit of rat poison #7, with a vitamin B-12, and steroid chaser.

CT results were stable.

Lung Functionality is down.

That is about it time to head to the apartment and sleep.

farewell Charlie

This post is not about me it is a tribute to a fallen member of our transplant support group that ran out of time as he was not able to get his much needed transplant. I am posting my farewell and my condolences on my blog as I will be unable to attend the life celebration for Charlie Stockley. Charlie and I never got to meet each other and hang but through the stories his family, friends, co-workers have shared I was able to know the man, the humanitarian, the musician, that was Charlie Stockley. I hate that Charlie ran out of time while waiting for a donor because everybody deserves a chance at life.

For more information on Charlie please visit his website www.charliestockley.com

For more information about organ donation please visit this site www.donatelife.net

Rest in Peace Charlie, breathe long, breathe free, breathe deep